In today’s society divorce is known to be a normal commodity. The idea of having a divorce in a family is more of a norm today than it ever has been. One interesting thing that I learned this week was that since my teacher is a therapist he has worked with many couples who have experienced divorce. The one thing he found consistent in divorces is that most couples that get a divorce get a divorce because they fell out of love, didn’t feel compatible or so on. My teacher found that these couples found that in 2 years after the divorce that they should have worked through it. When I heard this in class my heart broke for those couples and it made me want to help them.
This whole concept of divorce made me think of my teachers comment that, “divorce is a skill issue not a will issue.” As my teacher said this it made me realize how some people have a harder time in marriages knowing if they want to commit and stay committed by building the skills they need for that relationship. This commitment is hard to build some people simply do not have a clue how to go about it. But it is important to comprehend that marriage is a commitment much needed compared to couples now days who go towards cohabitation because it is easier. Did you know that cohabiting usually never leads to marriage? I wanted to talk about cohabiting for a moment because it is crucial to realize that cohabiting does not benefit a relationship. I say this because people think that cohabiting is easier than marriage when in reality there are a lot of problems that go along with cohabiting. One is that if you cohabit you are 16 times more likely to be abused by your live-in boyfriend than your husband. Another thing to understand about how cohabiting is a bad idea is that you are 30 times more likely to get molested by a cohabitation relationship compared to a spouse. Although you may think cohabitation is the way to go because it does cost less than divorce (because divorce costs about $125,000 in the first five years) it still can have a bigger effect on your emotions. Not only divorce is hard, but so is remarrying. Remarrying someone is a great thing and I encourage it for anyone. It usually takes someone a minimum of two years to be ready to get into another marriage. The People that remarry are more likely to be more willing to put more into the relationship than to their first marriage. Although it isn’t easy, it can be far worth it in the end. There are some things that remarried couples need to do. For example, sometimes couples get married to someone who already has a family. If this is the case it can be more difficult to have the idea of a “normal family.” This idea of normalcy takes up to two years to get to that point to feel more comfortable with each other. But remarried and combined families need to realize that they will never have a normal family because their family will always be different. This is not a bad thing, actually it can be good in many ways, but the sooner the family realizes that the faster they will be able to grow in certain types of relationships. In general divorce is hard, but can be a really good thing for people to overcome. All in all there are good and bad things to divorce, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t happiness that still can be found after. I encourage everyone to further their knowledge and understanding on divorce, remarriage and family relationships. FUN CONCEPT LEARNED OF THE WEEK: Alright so this concept doesn’t have much to do with the above information, but still in some way or another can apply if you really think about it. Okay here is the concept, did you know that marijuana is one of the worst drugs? It slows down, stops and reverses the development of the central nervous system while other drugs don’t do that. If someone doesn’t stop smoking before age 27-28 their brain will miss those development stages. This applies to the family because if an adult smokes during most of their life then it can impair them from being a parent at times and the way they think.
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March 2017
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